job interview at anthropologie, let’s pray i do well! (please pray, seriously. i need to get out of hollister). is it bad that i’m wearing all anthropologie clothes? i’m a kiss up. yay!!
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gonna upload some more sasquatch pics for safe keeping!
beautiful shows and beautiful atmosphere
why don’t you demand some respect? why doesn’t ANYONE demand respect anymore? it’s like.. demanding to be treated sweet is some kind of judgement. oh, you’re a mean person? i’m sorry- don’t let me judge you for that.
no.
how about SHUT UP AND STOP TALKING LOOKING BEING THAT WAY AROUND ME.
i’m tired of watching people change who they are and what they stand for just so they can live harmoniously around other people. because they’re scared of who they are, themselves.
i wish i could just force everyone to live by themselves for a while.
stop being scared. stop letting people take advantage of you. do you think those people are thinking “wow, look at them. so nice of them to let me control them”
no.
you and i both know what they’re thinking. and it has nothing to do with your benefit.
it is going to be very interesting: these next months, maybe years. to watch everyone grow out of childhood and maybe watch some stay there.
i love my dog and my room. it is good to be home for a while.
school is out and i don’t have any responsibilities, but why do i get that feeling that i don’t have anything to hope for? i guess i’m just nervous that nothing i do will be new this summer or make a difference in some significant way. why do i keep worrying about that? why does it matter? last year i had Ukraine to look forward to and to work for, but this year it feels like nothing. i suppose i am on the right track though - going into a season without any expectations. it’s kind of nice, in a bad way. even as i’m writing this i’m kind of getting excited at the fact that i have nothing to do this summer. i have nothing tying me down, so maybe i should stop pretending like it?
i had a dream last night that i went to kiev, Ukraine with people i didn’t know. and i wanted so bad to go back to Chernivtsi with those people so i got on a tight crowded bus like we did that one time and didn’t pay for a ticket, like you didn’t and they were all yelling at me as i drove away by myself. and then i got on the train, except this time, by myself. it was even hotter and sweatier and it felt weird and scary and i hated it. this time when i woke up that night there really was someone in the room with me but i pretended to be asleep and they stole my stuff. when i got to where i wanted to be, no one needed my help. but one person said “you might try going to Kiev. i’ve heard they need alot of help there”.
i think i just answered my own question.
i am so sick of coming home from work when i’m tired and stressed and need a quiet home to be in and it’s full of 16 year olds from boise high. i can’t handle it anymore. nobody cares about anybody but themselves and i need to get used to it, but i’m going to demand some respect anyway. i’m so done with this. so incredibly tired of it. ‘amanda party with us’ amanda you can’t use your own bathroom because someone is puking in it right now. i mean come on, settle down. someone is puking in your bathroom that you pay for. get over it. jeez amanda have a little fun. yeah i get that. but twice every weekend? yeah i mean, duh. i should be into it. as i write this, someone is legitimately puking in front of my door. as we speak.
today my mom got her driver’s license back after almost 4 years. it is the oddest feeling that she is moving out of that stage of her life, and sort of in the same way, it’s forcing me to also. i am really thankful for that.