The news at Hollister Co.:
Tonight was a closing shift (woo) and I folded down my favorite store. a table of 12 different kinds of cardigans, 6 stacks high sat before me and another associate who will remain nameless. This certain associate is not my favorite, but i was making really great small talk that you should be proud of. Within this newfound small talk skills was a small comment i made about the current manager (the one who creeps on me regularly) and his creepiness. and here we go:

“oh why do you say he’s a creep?”
”he just used to kind of touch me weird and stuff.. “
”UGH i know. but i think someone told on him or something? because he hasn’t been touching me on my back or shoulders anymore and i’m kind of sad about it. he’s so hot. i would fuck him right now on the floor if you know what i mean”
”oh, yes i know what you mean. um, that was definitely me who told Jeff.”
“why would you do that?! you ruined it for all of us”
”well, when he started touching my BUTT and surrounding me with his ARMS at the REGISTER i was kind of like.. uh. that’s gotta stop. so it did.”
”..he never touched my ass. wow, i mean, i’m kinda mad that you told on him, but also relieved that that’s the reason he stopped. i thought it was me.”
um. stop. what. do i even. say to this girl. 
” no, definitely me, don’t you even worry (nameless skank). plus he’s married, so it couldn’t go too far anyway.”
“Oh god i know. but i’ve seen his wife and i already know i’m hotter than her, so i guess we’ll just see what happens.”
there is so much class in the store at this point, i don’t know what to do with myself. so i threw up on the cardigans and left the room.